Follow up to Class #1

Someone shared an example of her daughter who deflects everything that is said to her.  Sister Tanner commented that she is probably a "red" (from the Color Code).  They do not like to have their flaws pointed out especially in public.

1. You can't teach them to acknowledge their mistakes in public
2. Follow up with them in private.  Say something like, "If you were the Mom what do you think these children would need to do?  How would you teach them that?"  That allows them to be in a position of power and tell what they would do if they were in charge.  They will say what you would have told them, but because they are the ones talking they will be the ones learning. 
3. At the end of the conversation say, "I think you'll make a great mom if you can learn to live that now."  Then let it go.  
4. If you get a "red" to acknowledge they are wrong in public you will break them.

• The atonement gives us patience to get through the day.  It's the quiet strength that gives us power in the moment. 
• You can be in the middle of the moment and still love them.
• This class is not about perfection.  It's about changing percentages.  If you yell 100% of the time, but then 1 time you don't yell you have improved and only yell 99% of the time.  
• You need to focus on what you "did" do not what you "didn't" do.  
• You don't have to change quickly.
• We gain strength and draw closer to how we want to be by changing percentages.
• You can't separate the "to be" and the "to do".  You have to teach the "to do" but make sure they know why so they can learn the "to be".

 When you are complimenting your kids on characteristics of how they are "being" sometimes you can get stuck on the same characteristics.  The question was asked...."How do you find other characteristics that you want them to be?"  Sister Tanner answered....Read the scripture 1 Corinthians 13:4-7   

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,  

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

 It will give you a list of characteristics.  Also as you continue to read your scriptures you will be able to add to your list.  The biggest thing will be personal revelation you receive when you are praying.  You will get a much more specific list that will meet the specific needs of your family and your children.