Class 3 (Spring 2012)--Color Code---FOLLOW UP

Red & blue are both really strong personalities.

Red will fight because they are right.

Blue will fight because it's the Lord's way and it's right.

The children at the highest risk for problems with immorality are yellow & red.  Yellow because they follow the crowd and want to be liked.  Red because if you set too many rigid rules they will defy you just to prove they are in control.

Blues are the ones you have to worry about the least.  They want to do what's right.  They are prone to guilt if they don't do what's right.

White parents are permissive
Red parents are bossy.
Yellow parents forget to teach.
Blue parents talk too much.

You have it within your power to break the spirit of your white child.  They quit.  You need to deal with them with kindness & gentleness.  Once they quit it's hard to get them moving agian.

If you are a red parent and have a red child be careful that you aren't so strong you drive a wedge in between you.  Reds move you just have to keep them moving in the right direction.

Take one child per day this week.  Watch them.  Study them.  Go back to the syllabus and figure out how to parent them.  Write it down and keep it in a notebook.  See if you think they follow the syllabus.  Make it a discovery day for that child.  You need to be spiritually emotionally in tune on that day for that child.  Learn about them.  Fall in love with them all over again.  Do it with prayer!

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Sister Tanner said that she would like to see more posting and "interaction" on the blog.  She is willing to answer questions that are posted here.

Tell us about the "rainbow" colors in your family, your color, boys/girls and ages, and which one is your biggest challenge right now.

Class 3 (Spring 2012)--Color Code

Color Code

·       This class is a time to look at your children’s personalities and yours

·       We start second guessing the way we feel

·       Understanding & knowledge are freedom.

·       With understanding comes great patience

·       This will help with how we can mesh with our children.

·       Strong willed children need to be taught compassion.

·       Flighty children need to be taught focus.

·       Quiet children need to be taught to be more outgoing.

·       Tanner 1:1—3 factors that determine what we are.

1.     Core personality (color code) brought from pre-existence

2.     Gender-men vs. women.  They will never think the same.  They were created different for a purpose.

3.     Environment – birth order, things we are taught, experiences.

§       Example:  Sister Tanner is team teaching a Primary Class with 6 boys that no one else wants to teach.  They are 9-11yo boys.  5 have serious special needs.  One 9yo boy has a cleft palette that was reconstructed, but still has obvious speech difference.  He is on the heavy side, outcast, 2^nd boy in family.  His older brother was born with severe health problems.  He was in and out of hospitals. There was a 5 year span and then they had another little boy.  He is “Prince Charming”.  Spoiled rotten.  Daddy cuddles & loves him one on one.  How does all this affect the 9yo boy?  He is the class clown, comments for attention.  He just needs to be loved.

·       All 3 factors can and should be modified thru the Spirit.

·       Anything can be taken away if you are coming unto Christ.

·       None of those things can stand in the way of Christ.

Example:  (Letter written by a Mom to Sister Tanner).  She didn’t like being a Mom.  As we come to understand our children and stop trying to make them like someone else we see them differently.  The goal is to make them each feel like they are our favorite.  They need to feel loved for who they are. 

“Her children 14, 12, 7 boys, 10 yo girl.  The oldest and the youngest are at each others throats all the time.  I thought the problem was discipline.  I felt like I was an unpaid cook, babysitter, and maid.  After the color code class she started to see her children differently.  She introduced “top chef”…each child gets a night to plan the menu and fix it with Mom.  1x each week she takes them on mini dates.  Her oldest son says he hates me.  She started taking him on a weekly lunch date.  The oldest son has found his smile and is starting to interact with the family.  This happened in 1 month of 1 on 1 communication.  They play games together instead of TV and video games.  She is also working on one on one favoritism towards her husband.”

HOMEWORK: 

1. Stop!  Take a step back and look at 1 child each day.  Who is that child?  What are their fears, goals, & dreams.  What animal would they be?  Who are they individually without the rest of the family.  

EXAMPLE:  Sister Tanner’s 8^th child (Cory) When he was 3 years old his Primary teacher called and asked what his favorite color was.   She didn’t know.  What is his favorite treat?  She didn’t know.  What is his favorite Book of Mormon story?  She didn’t know.  She felt like a real loser when she was finished with that phone call.  He was just one of the masses.

2. Stop & see your spouse as an individual.  Not as what you want him to be, but as he is.
3. Read “Understanding, Accepting & Affirming Your Child’s Style” from the syllabus.
4. Read “Understanding Parenting Styles” from the syllabus

• We need to know our children individually.

COLOR CODE TEST by Taylor Hartman

You can take the test online @  http://www.colorcode.com/free_personality_test/

4 colors---Red, Blue, White, Yellow

**READ MORE IN THE SYLLABUS**

RED & BLUE

• Powerful personalities
• Leaders
• They stand out in a crowd
• Blue-backpacks guilt
• Red bumper stickers…. “Be reasonable, do it my way” “If I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you”

YELLOW & WHITE

• Soft personalities
• Easily controlled by reds and blues
• White is easily discouraged as a child
• White bumper stickers… “I’m not deaf I’m ignoring you”  “Kindness, pass it on”
• Yellow is fun, flighty butterfly
• Yellow bumper stickers… “The one who wins dies with the most toys”

RED PERSONALITIES:  Motivated by power

• Strengths & Weaknesses--See syllabus
• Sister Tanner’s daughter is a red and she said later in life, “I felt like if I obeyed you I was losing my personality.”
• Reds are right because they are right!
• Reds need to learn about people.

BLUE PERSONALITIES:  Motivated by Intimacy/Closeness

• Strengths & Weaknesses---See syllabus
• They carry oral values on their shoulders.
• Blues are right because they are morally right.
• A blue parental flaw….Lectures!!!  but no one is listening.

WHITE PERSONALITIES:  Motivated by Peace

• Strengths & Weaknesses—See syllabus
• Whites need a “kind” atmosphere to grow up in.
• White’s can be trampled and destroyed by red & blue parents.

YELLOW PERSONALITIES:  Motivated by fun

• Strengths & Weaknesses—See syllabus
• Yellows need to be taught to focus

• Your goal is to learn the strengths of each color

Example: Sister Tanner started out as a blue parent.  Not a lot of yellow naturally.  She grew up in a military home.  When they said jump you asked how high on the way up.  Brother Tanner is a yellow.  That’s part of what drew her to him.  One time in their family they were running a relay race.  She was to crawl like a worm.  She was mortified, but did it anyway.  They all laughed and roared.  Neither of her parents had any yellow in them.  She married a yellow person then after she was married she wanted him to be serious.  She didn’t want him starting family prayer with a wrestling take down.  This last summer for family reunion they were doing “A Minute to Win it”  She has a Kleenex box taped around her fanny with ping pong balls in it and you had to shake them all out.  You can learn yellow traits.

·       Learn the strengths of the other colors

·       When you learn to let loose and have fun your family comes together.

·       Make your family a rainbow.

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If you are interested in purchasing a syllabus please send a check written to Carleen Tanner and your return mailing address.  $10 for the syllabus + $3 for shipping.

Carleen Tanner
2305 E. Goodman Street
Boise, ID 83712