Service Project Idea!!

Sister Tanner's sister sent the following email to her.  If your family is looking for a service project you could work together to earn money to send gift cards to the mission president to help the Hurricane Sandy victims.

 

They could use gift cards in $25 dollar increments for Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Target, etc. (do not send cards for Walmart because the do not have them there). The missionaries can distribute these cards to the people they are helping. If any of you would like to help this is the address.

The cards should be sent to:

Attention: President Calderwood

85-69 60th Dr.

Elmhurst, NY 11373-5547

Service (Follow Up)

What did you discover about yourself?

Class member shared: I’m in different places in different aspects of life.

Class member shared: I learned that service comes when you aren’t expecting it.  The day after class she got up at 3am to go get a bobble head BSU collector item.  They got there and there was a lady sitting on the sidewalk.  I just really need help.  What do you need?  I’m a recovering drug addict and my grandmother is in the hospital and I just really need a cigarette.  She was so grateful.  About an hour later a girl came in and she had a flat tire outside.  She was happy throughout the rest of the day.  She had a lift.  She saw the world differently.  It wasn’t a big deal.  She realized that she was doing better than she thought.  She really did want to help people.  It started with serving her son.  Her attitude about that was great.  When you start up the continuum then the Lord can use you for more things. 

Class member shared: She did a FHE on service.  Theme was “Have I Done Any Good in the World Today”.  She hummed it and sung it the whole week.  Her kids that fight are working together.  Her daughter told her she helped someone.

Class member shared: When you have the mind set you see them.  Even though she isn’t where her husband is she feels good about doing that when she is with him.  Even when she isn’t there herself.

Finally Mike showed up and he was filthy.  He looked horrible.  He had stopped and gotten under someone’s car and fixed a tire.  He was doing what was right.

Her boys were nurturing a little deer that had been hit on Christmas Eve.  They had called Fish & Game and were waiting for them. 

Class member shared: About a year ago they said you are making another meal.  She was in the “I have to” mode and couldn’t turn it down.  She changed her attitude about it.  If I can help someone in a need I will.  It will come back to me.  About 6 months later they were going through hard things and the ward brought in meals for 2 weeks.

Class member shared: She thought “Service, I’m already good at that”.  She realized as she got further through the lesson she realized that she really was way further off than she thought. 

Most people think that if we do acts of service we are good people and we get credit for being good.  It’s not the end.  It’s the condition of the heart.  We have the agency to do it crabby or to do it happy.  That is our agency.  That is how we purify our soul.

Class member shared: I could change my attitude.  Can you still have the “May I” and feel frustrated?  Yes.  For those of us learning the process change it then you will reach a point where you choose to take it.  We can change our attitude.

Class member shared: I almost feel like I’m fine to take meals to other people, but I sometimes have a hard time serving day in and day out, when it’s all on me.  I do it begrudgingly.  How do keep that “up” feeling day in and day out?  You have to change how you think.  That is the moment you have agency, in changing that thought process.   

There is power in those statements she gave.  “I have to do the dishes” change to “I’m grateful to have dishes to do.”

Class member shared: They just needed to regroup.  The Savior even left and went to a quiet place.  You can only give so much. 

Sometimes you have to take a day to fill yourself up.  To be really filled that spiritual depth.  I recommend doing 3 things….check the quality of your prayers, check your personal scripture reading, check how long it’s been since you went to the temple.

Children need to have ownership of those service opportunities. 

Service is what develops gratitude.  Things never develop gratitude in children or you.  It’s what you give. 

The answer to fear….“The Lord will never give us what we can do, but he will enable us to do what he give us.”  (Look up quote)

President Henry B Eyring 1997 October conference "Feed My Lambs"… “It is wise to fear that our own skills are inadequate to meet the charge we have to nourish the faith of others. Our own abilities, however great, will not be enough. But that realistic view of our limitations creates a humility which can lead to dependence on the Spirit and thus to power."

Traveling behind another car, didn’t stop and hit another car.  She knows CPR and has always been afraid.  That thought left almost immediately as it came.  She just checked things out.  The Lord gave her the strength to do what needed to be done.  Just being there and being able to let them use her phone and wait with them.  He called her and told her that she was her angel there.  She took control and helped and was his angel there.  The Lord gives us strength in the time she needed.  You have to know that he will be there.

Story in Magazine….Someone decided for Thanksgiving they gave each of their grown children and grandchildren $10 with the assignment to use it for some good.  It was to be used for a service.  Then they were to report back for Christmas what they had done.  1 girl had bought yarn and knitted scarves and hats for homeless.  Someone else took it to school and gave it to the office for lunches for kids that couldn’t afford lunches.  She decided I’m going to do that. 

Went in to pay for gas and went in to pay for it and someone else already paid for that.  She didn’t know anyone there.  How could someone pay for it when they didn’t know how much gas she put in.  She has no idea who would do it, but she has never forgotten.

Class member shared: Parents have given them $50 each to use.  Last year they decided rather than finding different things then they were going to pool their money and give whatever else they could.  They started an account for her parents to go on a mission.  It’s been one of their goals, but they haven’t been saving for something like that.  Some of those things can hurt too for family. 

Service--Class #6 (Fall 2012)

C.S. Lewis…The Screw tape Letters… The “master” is the devil.  You are reading it upside down.  He writes so you have to think when you read his things.  This quote is really good.  The devil talking about mortal man….

 “Let him do anything, but act.  No amount of piety in his imagination or affections will harm us if we can keep it out of his will.  The more often he feels without acting the less he will ever be able to act and in the long run the less he will be able to feel.”

How many of us go and testify, but don’t do the “to-do”?  Our choice decrease our probability of acting.  Why does it decrease?  It decreases because we have an excuse or a reason not to act.  As our ability gets better our willingness to act become weaker. 

This “me” generation and the law of consecration (giving everything we own to the Lord) are a huge distance apart.  “Let’s see if it’s convenient, entertaining, or fun.”  We live in that generation.  How do we teach our children to go from “me” to consecrated.  You are very sensitive to the spirit. 

Are we converted?  How is your net getting full?  Walking with the Savior. 

How do you get from the testimony to doing the “do”?

There was a point in her life where she went to a BYU Education week in Provo and listened to Jim McArther.  He had been raised in an abusive home…alcoholic.  He was a stake president.  I have reached a point in my life where I could just turn my life over to the Lord. 

I want it to come with a video tape not just as an impression.  

How do you ‘turn your life over to the Lord’?  Story of the rich young ruler.  He was doing everything that a good member of the church would do.  Savior said, “Sell all you have and come unto me.”   Had desire, but didn’t do it.

Alma 22:18   "O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day. And now when the king had said these words, he was struck as if he were dead."  King Lamoni’s father is talking to Aaron and wants to know your God.  I would give up all my sins to know your God.  If you want to know a list of sins read the talk on Pride from President Benson.  He had the desire and did it.

This is what we have to help our children do.  We have already covenanted to do it.  We need to see a vision of how to do it. There is a key to knowing how to be consecrated.

Matthew 20:28.…Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.  (He came to serve not to be served.) 

Whenever you get frustrated is it because you are serving or is it because you aren’t being served?  Usually when you are unhappy with your family it’s usually because they aren’t doing what you want them to do when you want them to do it.  You are focused on you.  When you are focused out you will find joy.

Class member shared:  My job is to serve my family and once in awhile he will ask you to serve someone else, but priority is at home.

“The Lord will never give us what we can handle, but he will help you handle what he gives you.”  You will get more than you can handle, but you will never get more than “we” can handle. 

She realized that she didn’t know how to do that.  She had to “see” what the trip looked like.  She is a good person.  She has a testimony, good mother, served.  There is a lot of good, but she wasn’t consecrated.  She wants to be there.  That’s where she wants to go.  She didn’t know how to be any more good.  Do you just keep doing good?  There are no more hours of the day.  It’s not a matter of getting your children to do more good stuff.  It’s about the heart.  We don’t need to increase “things”.  It’s a thing list.  Charity is not the number of casseroles you take to the neighbors.  It’s not the number of times you sign up for cannery assignments.  It’s how you felt about it when you signed up for the assignment.  Charity is a condition of the heart.  How did my heart feel when I said I will take the missionaries in for dinner tonight?  For your children you have to give them opportunities and them talk to them about “the heart”.  You have to evaluate for yourself. 

Service Continuum…(in the syllabus...you can order one here)

 It’s not a matter of time management.  This is heart management.  Evaluate your own heart.  You are at different levels in different areas.  You may be a better wife than a mother.  Some of you are better mothers than wives.  You are working harder on one or the other.  Where are you as a friend, as a church worker.  You can be a different levels.  The hope is to create integrity and be there all the time. 

You evaluate yourself in the levels.  It may be in a trial you are experiencing right now.  Some of you are in trials right now…marriage, family, children.  At least ½ of you are probably in “stress” right now. 

Level 1:  I won’t or I can’t (it doesn’t get done)

Sometimes in big trials I say I can’t do this.  You don’t move.  Your heart is I won’t and I can’t.  In this level you can see that they feel like they should be served.  You feel hurt or offended if people don’t know their problems and nurture them and feel sorry for them.  They turn down opportunities to serve.  That person won’t obey FHE, Family scriptures, Family prayer.  “It’s my husbands fault.”  True level of apathy.

Example:  In Relief Society once, the teacher gave a great lesson on service and consecration.  There was a lady behind her that raised her hand and gave fabulous comments.  She just has it.  They had closing prayer the Relief Society president stood up and said, a non member lady has a 6 week old baby and had an aneurism and they just moved here.  She is in the hospital and her husband needs to keep working.  If anyone would be able to help.  This lady who was sitting behind me turned to the sister and said I don’t know why they are asking us to do something like that.  She’s not even in our ward.  That is the perfect “I won’t”.  It made her so angry.  I went up there and said I will take that baby.  She had it for 2 months.  Sometimes overnight, but sometimes Dad took baby up to the hospital.

Anytime you want to improve you figure out which level you are at and look at the next level up.

Level 2: “I have to”

Laman and Lemuel are great examples of this one.  They did it.  They murmured all the way.  They are focused on the personal cost.  Usually it’s the cost of “time” not money.  Usually the first thing is I don’t have time.  If you hit the “I have to” in parenting you don’t find great joy in your children.  Their disobedience is because your husband isn’t available.  You are usually blaming other people or situations.  You may go to church, but where is your heart.  You’ll do it, but it’s because you have to.  It stews inside of you.   Many of us have children who are here.  You want them to be consecrated.  If you have children there you only move them up to the next level.  If you are here you move them up to the next level.  You can change levels one degree. 

Example:  Husband comes home and says I invited people over for dinner.  You think of all the things you have to do.  You say “I have to” and gripe the whole time. 

Use the word “I will” instead of “I have to” it changes.  You can change just the words and it creates different feelings.

Elder Bednar’s talk we can bring truth “unto” their hearts, but they have to open their heart and bring it “into”.  We encourage them and express joy. 

The Celestial Kingdom is all about service.  That’s why he came here and what the Atonement is. 

Level 3:  “I will”

They serve out of duty or guilt, but not joy.  It is a commitment…you are pretty good about doing it, but your attitude stinks.  You are still in “me” mode.  Still taking inventory of the cost.  They keep score in marriage.  I will do my part.  I will do my 50%.  I will keep track to make sure you are doing your part.  Not willing to do more than your part.  These people have testimonies.

Level 4:  “I want to”

Testimony is turning into conversion.  I want to do my part.  I want to do my visiting teaching.  I want to do what’s right.  I want to keep the commandments.  They have the desire to do what’s good.  Our church is full of this kind of people.  Many of us are right here in our parenting.  That’s why we are in this class.  Most people you know are right here.  I want to be a good parent.  It’s a good place to be, but not a consecrated place to be.  Having that change of attitude in what can I do instead of what can I get. 

Level 5:  “May I or I am Thankful to”

Example:  Someone once said what is the difference between the churches humanitarian effort and the world?  The answer is…the people in the world that are doing the projects are doing them because they want to do good.  Most of that doesn’t come at a sacrifice.  It’s big organizations that give money, but it’s to “do good”.  In the church we go out to do those things because we love the Lord.  Our motivation is that we love the Lord and we serve his children. 

If you come to this last level it’s because you know the Atonement and you know the dependency on the Savior.  You know that you can’t do it alone.  After all the good we do we can’t save ourselves.  Because we know him and what he has given us that we want to serve.  We can never serve enough to repay him.  It’s a privilege and honor to go do that.  That is the condition of the heart that is consecrated.  That is the condition you feel from the 12 when they speak.  I want to do whatever he will ask.  It takes a lifetime to get to the “May I”.  There are things you can do to help get there.

Things you can to do to get there…
1.  Evaluate your prayers.
2.  Study the Atonement--look it up in the Topical Guide, Read conference talks, and pray that you an come to understand it. 
3.  Serve!  Serve!  Serve!

We need to bear testimony of the Savior.  We don’t testify and teach and express our love for our Savior enough to our children.  As they feel him and love him and know him they will serve at the “Gratitude” level. 

HOMEWORK:  This will be the hardest assignment you get.  I want you to do it at the level of “I’m grateful”.  You may need to do preparation up front to get you to it.  Post your experiences to the blog.  With your family pick a Christmas Service Project to do that you have from now until Christmas to figure out what to do.  It needs to hurt. 

Don’t just take a family and out of your money buy the gifts.  It needs to have sacrifice in it.  Maybe children need to give up one of their gifts for it.  It means that that family earns money together.  From now to Christmas you adopt someone in a nursing home.  You visit each week.  Those are examples of possibilities.  It has to be with the intent of giving this gift to the Savior.  It is giving him something that he would do if he were here and you are simply his messenger.  You can serve and fill the life of someone else because of it.

Some of you are back to the “I can’t” level.  You are at various levels even as you think about the assignment.  I don’t think you will live in consecration, but I want you to experience it.  It can be life changing.  What should I do and how can we accomplish it?  Only go into this with the “I’m grateful” attitude.  I’m trying to put your hand in the hand of the savior for his birthday.  I think this is how you do it.  If you pray about it and seek to do it, it can be a sacred consecrated experience.   The more often we touch that level the more often we will want to live there.  It’s a condition of the heart.  Service and the heart is the vehicle that takes us to consecration.  We have to do it because of our gratitude for what he gave to us.  We can’t repay him, but we can serve him.

Class #8-Service (Follow Up)

• One lady in our class told this story....Her older daughter saw a nightgown and wanted it.  Mom wouldn't buy it.  The other daughter went to the Mom and said she wanted to buy it for her sister for her birthday.  It was a ridiculous price.  She tried to talk her daughter out of it.  She bought it anyway and gave it to her for her birthday.  Sister Tanner suggested that to finish learning the lesson she needed to provide opportunities for her daughter to earn the money she needed to restock what she had spent on the birthday gift to buy future Christmas gifts rather than that parents just giving her the Christmas money because they were proud of how unselfish and giving she had been.
• Life is full of windows.  This is a one time shot.  You will never have this opportunity to influence these people in the same way ever again.
• It takes courage to get our of our circle and give
• Read "A Heart Like His" by Virginia Pearce
• "Welcome the inconvenience brought on by another's need"
• Our children need to see us as real people.  We need to share 'some' experiences about when we weren't perfect.  Don't share so many that you lose credibility as a parent.
• If your child says, "You are always yelling at me."  Maybe you could say, "I'm sorry I didn't realize you felt like I was yelling so much.  I will try to use a softer voice to talk to you."

Class #8-Service

James McArthur was Mike Tanner’s mission companion and now teaches at BYU.  He was teaching at education week.  He grew up in a harsh dysfunctional family.  One day he had a prompting to go visit a lady.  She was in need and he was an answer to prayer.  He said, “I reached a point where I could turn my life over to God.”  Before you can turn life over to God you have to have your own life.

What does it look like to go from where I am not to turning my life over to God?  What does it mean to own your own life?  If you don’t own it who does?

When you say I wish I was more kind, more patient, had more charity, you are trying to improve yourself in the negative you can’t take hold of it and change.

Where is your spirituality or your capacity to say, “I can turn my life over to God?”

Matthew 20:28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Think about Frances Monson on Christmas day when President Monson delivered 85 turkeys to widows.  What was her attitude?  What would ours have been?

The Savior never turned away someone sick or afflicted and he blessed the children one by one.

It’s not just doing the act, but it’s a condition of the heart.

It is a development/journey into charity.  “I can turn over my life” because your goal is to serve.

“Charity is an act, it is the condition of the heart.”

You can do good things and not have charity.

When the service is accompanied by taking your personal temperature you aren’t in charity.

Vision of Service by Elder V. Dallas Merrell  December 1996 Ensign

“Charity is not just works or gift giving but a condition of the soul, a quality of our character.  The gift of charity flows from God as he reveals His love for us and from our reciprocating feeling love of God, His work, & His children.”

What do we learn from this quote….

1. Charity is not just doing an act of service
2. It is a condition of the soul or character.
1. If you have a condition of the heart it is to serve, but you can serve without your heart being in it and it won’t develop charity.
3. Gift of charity flows from God
1. It has to be given
2. You have to ask for it.
3. D&C 46  “Pray for all the best gifts”
4. In the process of gifts the reason why we do the acts changes.
4. In receiving that gift you come to understand how much God has given us.  Then turn and serve God’s children because we feel that love.

You can have charity in some things but not be charitable.

It isn’t your character yet.  Eventually over time service changes your character.

How do  you have a spiritual report card to check where you are in service?

• Personal Prayers
• Personal Scripture Study
• How you keep the Sabbath Day holy

Those are a good indication of where you are right now.

When we pull away from the Lord in our busyness our prayers and intensity diminish.

The more often we check those 3 things (prayer, scripture, Sabbath day), the more often we can change

Women tend towards depression and discouragement.  If we evaluate and repent or turn around on the things  you need to fix you will come out of that pit of depression no matter what the reason.

What have I don’t of value in the Lord’s kingdom?  What have I done for the Lord in my life?

The Dash Poem

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;

The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

©1996 Linda Ellis

It took Sister Tanner about 5 years to put together the Service Continuum.

The core to do something to become Christlike is in service.  How does that translate into my life?

He is perfect.  Though that is my goal it’s defeating.  I need it broken down into steps.

Jesus gave 2 great commandments---“Love God” and “Love your neighbor as yourself”.  We can increase our spirituality by obeying those 2 commandments. 

Most of our love is toward ourselves (natural man).  We have to learn to love enough to take our minds off us. 

Service is a condition of the heart no time management.

Evaluate yourself.  You can be in different levels on the Service Continuum in the different roles in your life (Relief Society Calling, Visiting Teacher, Mom, Spouse, Daughter, Sister, Friend)

Identify where you are and then take the very next step to move up on the Service Continuum.  You can’t move directly to the goal.  There is a process you have to go through.

 

1.     I won’t/I can’t

·       Example:  The Bishop says you need to have family home evening every Monday night.  You go home and say, “I can’t do that, my husband works…I have ornery kids”

·       This is a justification for why you can’t do it.

·       It’s an attitude

·       Rationalization

·       Only focused on self & how it affects them.

·       I can’t do it because of you or something else (blame)

·       Lives with a lot of offense.

·       Carry hurts, focus on those.

·       Most of us go here occasionally

·       You are the “victim”

·       You feel like you are powerless.  It’s in how you think. 

·       The goal is simply to move to the next step.

·       Example:  There was a Relief Society lesson on charity.  A sister was making profound contributions to the lesson.  When it came to a close the Relief Society president said, we have an opportunity in our ward to serve.  There is a non-member in our ward with a 6 week old baby.  She had an aneurysm.  Her prognosis is good in the long run, but right now she is in the hospital and her husband has to work.  We need someone to take the baby and take care of it.  They just moved to Boise and have no friends and no family here. The Sister that was making those great comments toward the lesson said, “I just don’t see how they can ask us to do this.  She isn’t even a member of the ward.”  Sister Tanner took the baby home for 2 months and raised her along with her own 6 little kids she already had at home.

·       This is verbally expressing the testimony, but it still comes down to the act.

2.     I have to/I need to

·       You say “I need to” but you really don’t to it.

·       This is Laman & Lemuel.  They went but they whined the whole way.

·       This is better than the one that won’t do it.

·       Many of us live here.

·       I’ll accept the calling and come to do it, but grumble the whole time.

·       I’ll do it but there is emotional repercussions to everyone around me from it.  Silent treatment and withdrawal of affection are an adult temper tantrum.

·       Example:  Marilee (Sister Tanner’s sister) was teaching a primary class of age 7 kids.  She had Hinckley bucks.  They earned them for prayer, reading scriptures, memorizing scriptures.  Some of it they did in class and some of it they did on their own.  There were some over achievers and some under achievers that only earned exactly what they did in class together.  She made sure each child had enough to buy some dollar store trinkets at a year-end party.  A mother called and asked, “How many Hinckley bucks did some of the kids have?”  Marilee said they all have what they earned.  The mother said, “That’s not fair.  It will hurt my daughters self esteem if someone has more than she does.”  All the children had the same opportunity, but they wanted the reward without the work.

·       This is typical of the “I have to” but they want the greatest reward in the end. 

·       These are the people that say, “I need to call ____.” “I need to do my visiting teaching early.”  “I need to read my scripture.”  They say the things, but never really intend to do them.

3.     I will

·       I will teach the class

·       I will be responsible.

·       Sense of duty.

·       They know the importance of parenting, but really feel hopeless and helpless.

·       It’s a burden and a pressure

·       It feels heavy

·       To fill their bucket they want to be noticed.

·       You children will fall into these categories, but right now just look at you first.

·       I’m doing my part why aren’t they doing their part.

·       You can depend on these people.  They are where they say they will be when they say they will be there.

4.     I want to

·       Big difference between these steps. 

·       It feels like a huge difference

·       Example:  Close your eyes and say…. “I will get my visiting teaching done before Thanksgiving.” (It feels heavy.  The Spirit in the room drops).  However if you say, “I really want to see Sister Jones.  It will be fun to take her something.”  It feels lighter.  The requirement is the same (visiting teaching is the requirement).

·       It’s how you choose to feel about it.

·       If you say the words in your head you will feel the energy

·       A class member asked, “What is I have….anxiety, depression, OCD, etc and really want to do these things, but if I do my home and family suffer for it.”  Sister Tanner’s answer is…. “You cannot run faster than you have strength.” 

·       If your heart is in the right place and you could do this you would.  “Yes, I want to do this, but my house is falling apart and my husband is gone.”  That’s what your life allows right now.  Eventually your house won’t be falling apart and your husband will be home and you will have that same opportunity.

·       It’s a condition of the heart.  Would you do it if you could do it?

·       This person lives beyond the commandments

·       They want to serve and be helpful

5.     I am thankful, may I

·       The difference in this step from the last one is from the quote at the beginning…..

·       Vision of Service by Elder V. Dallas Merrell  December 1996 Ensign “Charity is not just works or gift giving but a condition of the soul, a quality of our character.  The gift of charity flows from God as he reveals His love for us and from our reciprocating feeling love of God, His work, & His children.”

·       Where is the drive coming from?

·       There is no evaluation of who or what you serve

·       You are not taking your own temperature

·       This is gratitude to the Lord

·       It is hard to hit this last level.

·       To get to this last level….1. Study “Jesus the Christ” by Talmage and 2.  Study the cross references in the scriptures and really understand the atonement.

·       You just being to see where the next level of service is.

·       We need to be here to live a celestial life.

HOMEWORK:

1. Check your spiritual report card.  Where are you in your personal prayers, personal scripture study, and Sabbath day worship.
2. Between now & Christmas start one of these…. “Jesus the Christ” or “Atonement” study of the cross references in the scriptures
3. Do a family service project. 
• 12 days of service:  Service scavenger hunt….,Mom called the Boise Rescue mission and found out what they needed.  They did a Facebook event that said we will be by on a family home evening and collect any items you wish to donate.  The kids grumbled to begin with, but then it became fun.
• Your children don’t want to serve right now.  That is normal.  If we don’t teach them to have opportunities to serve when will they learn it.  They receive an outpouring of the spirit.  Once they experience that it takes them to the point of “May I”.
• Service project can be fun.
• It needs to require time, work, effort, and planning.
• When Sister Tanner’s boys were 12-11-10-9 Mike Tanner took the boys over to one of his grown up scouts who had gotten married and had no money.  They were building a house and Mike volunteered the boys and himself to pour the foundation and footings.  The boys did all the work for free.
• At Christmas they took a family not in their ward and assign the children a name in the family.  They had to work to earn the money and buys gifts for them.  They had to buy them…something to wear, something to play with, and something to eat (treat).  One year, Nate said he had a boy from school.  He knew what he wanted to get him.  It was a name brand sweatshirt, pants, and still do the other things too.  He worked hard and saved his money and purchased those things.  Everyday for the rest of the year that boy wore those jeans to school.
• On year at Christmas time they purchased a trampoline for a family.  They were in the middle of the street putting it together at 11pm at night.  The put 3 bags of gifts on top of it and walked it down the street to the house where it belonged and put it over the front porch then went and hid.  Then Nate knocked on the door and ran and hid.
• They can do…community work, nursing home work.
• 3 year olds won’t get it.  It will teach you to get it.
• Adopt a grandma….visit every week for 6 weeks and do Christmas for her.
• Create experiences at the level your kids are at.
• Sister Tanner’s sister has her kids pick one of their new gifts they got a Christmas time and give it to someone who didn’t have any.
• Do something & pray about it.  You will receive revelation.

GIFTS OF GALILEE

By Sandi Haslam

          Adam was five the year he changed my life forever.  One gray afternoon in early December, he burst breathlessly through the kitchen door and asked, ‘Mom can I bring my friend over to have dinner with us tonight?”  I paused and shifted my gaze form the nearly empty bucket of thickening wallpaper paste.

          “Tonight?”

          “He won’t care what we’re having.”

          “Oh, Adam.  Not tonight.  I still have two rolls of border to put up before I can clean up.  Daddy will be home at 5:30 and I haven’t even thought about dinner yet.  Tonight’s really not a good night.”

          “He likes everything.  His Mom won’t be home tonight.”  I stepped down from the ladder and gritted my teeth at the sensation of cold paste mixed with wallpaper trimmings and cracker crumbs adhering to the bottoms of my bare feet.  I spotted the two remaining rolls of border, which had rolled under the kitchen table and were bonded together in a puddle of paste.

          “Well, honey, I’m sure his family will see that he gets his dinner,” I said, trying to indicate an end to the discussion.

          “He doesn’t have a family.  He wants a brother and a Dad, but he just gots a Mom.”

          I stopped in my crawl under the table and turned to look over my shoulder at Adam standing in the doorway.  He was already turning to go with a sad look of resignation on his little face.  All too well he knew the tone in my voice that said it was useless to plead, that my mind was made up.  A pang of guilt stabbed at my heart at the sight of the small hunched shoulders and the hands jammed dejectedly into his jeans pockets.

          “Adam,” I said in a sudden repentant rush, “I’m just so busy tonight and everything is such a mess.  Let’s have your friend come to our house for dinner when we can make it more special—when the new wallpaper is up and the house is clean and I have time to make a really special “Friend Dinner.”  Rekindled interest flickered in his big blue eyes.

          “Okay. When?”

          “Soon, honey.  I promise, real soon.”  The hands came out of his pockets, the little shoulders square and his childish smile warmed away the pain in my heart.

          “Thanks Mom!” And off he lurched, skipping all on one foot, his corn silk hair parted and blowing back across his forehead.  A moment after he had galloped out the doorway, his cherubic little face reappeared with eyes shining.

          “And Mom, he won’t even care if the wallpaper isn’t finished.”

          The rest of the evening, the innocence of Adam’s parting comment stayed with me; as I finished hanging the rolls of border, as I cleaned up the pasty mess on the kitchen floor and later, as I stood under the soothing, steamy spell of the pulsating hot water in the shower.  As I washed and rewashed my hair, tugging bits of dried wallpaper paste from the soggy strands, it was as if I was trying to wash myself free of the subtle nagging guilt that still remained from our conversation.  The holidays were such a busy time!  Here I was, trying to give the house a little face lift so it would look nice to have our family over for holiday get togethers, and trying to make our limited budget cover the expenses that always spilled over what our estimates of them had been in October.  I wanted the kids to have a good Christmas even if it meant skimping on a few other things we might have otherwise had or done.  I just couldn’t do everything.  But then in the back of my mind I heard Adam’s voice saying, “He won’t care what we’re having, He likes everything.”  I knew it wouldn’t matter if it was a tuna sandwich or macaroni and cheese.  I was the one who had said let’s wait until we could make it a big, special “Friend Dinner.” (Mosiah 4:26  And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.)

          “I’m doing the best I can,” I said aloud, as if begging understanding from the image of the child’s face I held in my mind.  And then I pushed it out of my thought to allow for the crush of things there was to do before Christmas.

          A week went by.  New snow dressed the streets and sidewalks.  Colored lights blossomed across the city housetops and Christmas trees appeared in all the windows.  I looked out the window where I stood, spreading brown sugar and marshmallows over the top of the sweet potatoes.  The smell of turkey hung heavy and warm everywhere and glasses of cranberry juice sparkled in leaded crystal glasses on my beautifully set table.  I sighted with contentment.  Weren’t the holidays just the best time of the whole year?  Could anything be better than family and being together?  I smiled as I watched Adam kicking the drifts of snow, sending the white fluff into powdered clouds above his head that glittered in the sunshine as they settled on top of his park hood.  When he finally came through the back door, his hair and eyebrows and lashes were covered with great white flakes.  Those wonderful, shining eyes were wide with excitement.

          “Mom! Look!” he said as he tugged at a soggy note pinned to the front of his coat.  “It’s a note from my teacher.  It says I’m supposed to be an elf in the Christmas program and I need a costume.”  I took the paper and read the simple instructions.

          “Okay honey, we can start on this tomorrow.  I’m sure there’s something around here we can make an elf costume out of.  But tonight daddy and I are having some special friends over for dinner, so I will need your help before they come.”  Suddenly Adam became very aware of the holly sprigged cherry pies cooling on the counter and the heavenly smell of the turkey wafting all about him.  He was quiet for a moment and then said, “Oh….it’s sort of like a “Special Friend” dinner?”

          “Well, uh…yes.  I guess son,” I said, seeing clearly the hurt behind his question.

          “How many special friends are coming?”

          “There will be six.”

          “Oh. I just have one,” he said and he walked out of the kitchen.

          The next day was Saturday.  Adam was helping me wipe the Froot Loops off the breakfast table when he suddenly said, “Mom, how much is a turkey?”  Surprised, I replied, “Oh about ten dollars, why?”

          “How much is ten dollars?”

          “Well if you did ten jobs and I paid you a dollar for every job you did, that would be ten dollars, and that would be enough to buy a turkey.”

          “Do you got ten jobs?”

          “I suppose I could find some.”

          It was nearly six o’clock when I put the finishing touches on the elf costume.  Bells jangled from the tip of the pointed cap and cotton batting filled out the plump tummy.  A sash held in the fabric’s fullness beneath the protruding stuffed belly, and the bright green jacket sported large black buttons down the front.  I hadn’t seen Adam since a little after 4:00 and the house was quiet.  I made a quick survey of the main floor.  The garbage can in the kitchen had been emptied and a new bag stretched lopsidedly into the can.  I could see where a chair had been dragged across the kitchen floor to wipe off the countertops.  There were still remnants of grape jelly smears on the white formica, and most of the crumbs had fallen to the floor.  On the table was a pile of jumbled underwear that looked like it had been folded by a very small boy.  Beside it was an irregular stack of towels and five carefully wadded balls of dishcloths placed in a row along the edge of the table.  The table had been set with plates and glasses and spoons.  In the center of the table was a box of Captain Crunch and a bowl of mini marshmallows.  At each place a half graham cracker had been carefully laid beside each spoon.  I looked into the family room.  One very large log had been brought in from the wood pile and placed on the hearth.  The scattered newspapers had been stacked on the end table and Adam laid curled up asleep with a dust cloth and a can of Pledge on the floor in front of the television’s late afternoon cartoons.

          That was a lovely dinner that evening.  As wonderful as the elegant dinner the night before with our friends.  I ate my Captain Crunch and marshmallows and never did a dinner taste so fine!  As soon as we finished, Adam and I got into the car and drove to the supermarket to pick out a turkey.  He deliberated at great length over his selection.  He insisted on carrying it himself to the checkout stand, even though his knuckles were frosty and his fingers turning white.

          On the way home I expected him to ask me when I would cook the turkey and we could have his friend over for dinner, but he said nothing all the way home.  When I pulled into the driveway and stopped the car, he lifted the frozen turkey from the car seat and carried it over to his wagon.  Carefully placing the turkey in the middle of the wagon, he picked up the handle and turned towards the street.

          “I will be right back, Mom.”  I could do nothing but nod.  I watched him disappear down the block, pulling the turkey behind him.  As I stood there alone on the driveway watching the Christmas lights blink on in the neighborhood, a voice spoke to me saying,… ‘Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.  Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.’” (Mathew 18:3-4)

          The next night was Adam’s school Christmas program. He was elated with the elf costume and insisted on wearing it in the car on the way to the school.  He really did look quite authentic, with his straight soft bangs poking out underneath his jingling cap, and his brightly painted red cheeks and nose.  Parents were filing into the cafeteria where folding chairs had been set up in neat rows.  We sat towards the center behind a woman in an old tweed coat.  I could tell from the shoulders, even from behind her that the coat was much too large.  When she turned to glance over her shoulder and smile, I saw that the lapels lapped the wrong way for a woman’s coat.  She was surprisingly young.  She had a gentle, tired face.  She sat alone until the room was filled with parents and she was eventually sandwiched into the craning necks and shoulders of proud parents trying to get a good view of the small stage. 

The lights dimmed and the music began.  Some reindeer pranced out and did ballet circles along the edge of the stage.  They sprinkled snowflakes as they danced, preparing the way for Santa Claus.  Santa entered with jingling sleigh bells as the piano vibrated with strains of “jolly old St. Nicholas.”  Santa called for the help of his elves in making the toys.  The curtains parted, and our danced four little elves…no five little elves.  There were four costumes, but five elves.  There at the end of the line of dancing elves was Adam.  The stuffing had been pulled from his tummy, and the green jacket with the black shiny buttons hung open to make room for another little boy inside his costume.  Each boy had an arm in the jacket, with the other arm about his companion.  Adam wore the belled cap and his little friend wore a cone shaped cap made of green construction paper.  Adam’s red cheeks were smeared from his chin to his eyebrows, but it was evident what had happened.  His little friend wore identical smeared cheeks and they have obviously rubbed their noses together.  They sang with the rest of the elves, performing the dance steps awkwardly, but with much gusto.  They were having a wonderful time, there was no doubt.  Neither Adam nor his little friend seemed the least bit intimidated and when their number was over they “high-fived” each other with the arms they had in the jacket sleeves.  The woman in front of us bowed her face into a tissue and wept.

          After the performance, we found Adam lined up in the hallway waiting for us with punch and cookies.  He looked apprehensive when I approached, as if he didn’t know quite how he was going to be received.  I knelt down beside him and put my arms around him and said, “You are a wonderful dancer, Adam!”  Tars welled up in his eyes and his chin quivered and he said, “Are you mad, Mom?”

          “Mad? Why would I be mad, Adam?”

          “Because I didn’t wear my costume like I was supposed to…because I put my friend in it with me and that made it not look right.”

          “No Adam.  I’m not mad.  But why did you do that?”

          “Because he didn’t have a costume.  His Mom couldn’t get him one and he was supposed to be an elf too.  So my teacher made him a hat and I told him he could just be part of me.”  (Matthew 25:35,40  For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in and the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.)

          “Oh Adam!”  I thought.  “How close to the angels you are!  You made him part of you!  That is the very gift the Savior himself gave each of us—He made us part of Him through his loving sacrifice.  That is Christmas, Adam.  THAT is Christmas.”

          Suddenly at my elbow stood the woman in the ill-fitting tweed coat.

          “Are you Adam’s mother?” she asked.

          “Yes.”

          “I wanted to thank you for the lovely turkey!  I was so overwhelmed at your kindness.”

          “Oh, the turkey was from Adam.”

          “I’m sure it was, but thank you just the same.  It meant so much to us.”  I thought how much more it would have meant if she had known that it truly had been from Adam—just Adam.

          “mom, look what my friend made for me!”  Adam help up a tiny box fashioned from a folded Christmas card.  Inside was a single chipped cat’s eye marble.  “And he made if mom.  He made it himself!”  He turned to his friend who glowed with pride.

          “I have something for you too.”  I winced.  Oh no…what would Adam do?  From his pocket he pulled a small crumpled piece of paper and handed it to his friend who had suddenly become very shy.  Slowly the paper was unfolded to show the crayoned drawing of a stick figure.  The face was topped with scribbles of yellow hair and Adam’s blue eyes were unmistakable.

          “I know you want a Dad and a brother for Christmas, so I decided to give you a brother—me!”  The boys grabbed each other and pealed with laughter.  “ You can just share my Dad.”

          Little could Adam understand the significance of his gift.  To give oneself as a brother at Christmas, and to share the love of the Father of all men, are the greatest gifts the children of God can give to one another.  These were the gifts of the very first Christmas, still given today by wise men.  They were the gifts of Galilee, given by the Savior of the world Himself to all those who would humbly and thankfully receive them.  I vowed then to forever give these gifts of Galilee for Christmas.  (John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.)