Thursday, March 29, 2012
Message from Sister Tanner
Sister Tanner has agreed to send me something to post each Thursday until the next class starts. Stay tuned.....
Class #11 (Spring 2012)--Stress & Adversity
Write down 2 things you are most stressed about right now.....
Some ideas....guilt about ruining your kids, worry about kids as adults, teaching children to deal with temper and stress, sick kids, husbands not doing what they should, time, busyness, illness
You don't get through this life without stress and adversity.
Satan teaches if you are good enough and rich enough there won't be any problems.
We think..."If my spouse was just..."
We think if those things changed I wouldn't be stressed.
You've give your power for peace to something outside of you.
You have the power to have peace through the Atonement.
Alma 42:8 Now behold, it was not expedient that man should be reclaimed from this temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness.
We either don't think about it or don't believe it.
We are so involved in the moment we don't allow the Savior in.
STRESS:
We buy guilt. Change percentages. You need to cheer for yourself and validate you when you make even a small change.
Stop worrying about what you are doing wrong and focus on what will move you in the right direction.
PT-->PF-->PA-->PC
Positive Thoughts lead to Positive Feelings lead to Positive Actions and over time lead to Positive Character.
Negative Thought lead to Negative Feelings which lead to Negative Actions.
We need to change our thought pattern to change our actions. We change our thought thru prayer.
If you are in stress or adversity what are you thinking about.
Scripture reference for this formula...Mosiah 4:30 But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not.
When we are in major stress we are usually in fear. We cannot be in faith.
Faith says I know Heavenly Father will be on the right and the left, his spirit is in my heart, and his angels round about me.
We need to say, "Father show me what to do to protect my children." When he gives you an answer you do it that day. When you do those inspirations straight way, it builds the fortifications around your children.
Example: If you had a fight with your husband the night before and you pray and get the feeling you should take his favorite candy bar and deliver it to work, follow that, don't question it.
Most blue women think they are spiritually better than their husbands.
Remember that Joseph Smith was a righteous man. He had adversity & stress starting at 8 yrs old with the pain in his leg. At 14 he had the First Vision and was persecuted until his death. His life was a storm. He said, "The envy and wrath of man have been my common lot all the days of my life. . . . Deep water is what I am wont to swim in." "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" D&C 121:1 Joseph Smith grew more in Liberty Jail than any other time.
Question: What about parents who have children that go astray?
Answer: Heavenly Father had Satan, Lehi had Laman & Lemuel
The principle is : When you are in stress and/or adversity you never ask the question why.
The why is that you are in mortality. It has nothing to do with righteousness or wickedness.
Women are prone to depression this time of year. It comes from asking why? Why is self-focused. Being turned in with negative thoughts will usually create depression. We become habitual in thinking negative.
Story: For FHE Tracy and her family took a walk. She put a small rock in each one of their shoes. They were not allowed to take the rock out. Then she gave them a jolly rancher to put in their mouth. What did they talk about? They complained about the rock in their shoe instead of enjoying the jolly rancher in their mouth. She said, "You had something sweet & something hard" What did you choose to look at?
Think about Nephi & his family in the wilderness. Laman & Lemuel said,
When we pray we pray to have the problem removed. If he removes it then he removes the learning experience.
Instead of asking the question why we should ask these questions instead..."Obtaining Help From The Lord" by Richard G. Scott, Ensign October 1991
1. What does the Lord want me to learn?
5. What characteristic must I improve? (What must I stop doing and what must I start doing)
EXAMPLE: With stress in your marriage. You feel like you are unequally yoked to your husband. You want to do FHE, family prayers, keep Sabbath day holy, etc. He wants to watch football on Sunday, play video games late into night. We say, "If he would change, I would be happy." You are putting all your power in his basket. You keep your own agency.
1. We cannot choose to be free from difficulties, but we are free to choose how to handle them.
STORY: On January 19th Cory (Sister Tanner's son) went into work. He works at Johnson & Johnson. It is a very secure job. While he was sitting at work he had the impressions of a ticker tape going by with a message that said, "go home and pack." He went into another room and prayed and saw the sign again. He went to his desk and rearranged his schedule and went home. Jenny, his wife, was helping someone else and wasn't at home. He decided to start in the closet packing everything except his everyday clothes. Then he went to pack the library. While he was packing he thought, "Maybe something is going to happen to Jenny." So he went to go find her. He didn't see her car when he drove by the first time and true panic set in. He went and knocked on the door and Jenny was there. He told Jenny of the experience and Jenny said, "Let's pack. Where do you want me to start."
They felt good about it. They had previously put in an application to transfer to Boston so they thought maybe that was going to go through. He has wanted to purchase a company and went online to look. There was a pump company in Middleton Idaho for sale. He decided maybe that's what he was supposed to do. So he flew home. Over the weekend he had 3 goals. 1. Sign on the company. 2. Get financing. 3. Come up with $50,000 of his own money. By Sunday night all those things had happened and he found a house to buy.
He went home and didn't tell anyone. He didn't want to until his financing went through. When there was a 90% chance it was going to go through he gave his 2 weeks notice and told their bishop. Everything fell into place. Jenny's Dad flew out to New Jersey to drive back with them. While they were in Snowville, Utah they got a phone call that Tuesday night saying that their financing had failed. Tuesday night the contract was up and someone else was in line to purchase the business. The business went to them.
So they arrived in Boise with no house, no job, no money. He said, "Mom, we followed every prompting. We're not sure why we are here, but the Lord has brought us here." Cory is excited. He feels like he can do anything right now.
Do we have enough faith to listen to Heavenly Father say, "Be still, and know that I am God"?
Some ideas....guilt about ruining your kids, worry about kids as adults, teaching children to deal with temper and stress, sick kids, husbands not doing what they should, time, busyness, illness
You don't get through this life without stress and adversity.
Satan teaches if you are good enough and rich enough there won't be any problems.
We think..."If my spouse was just..."
We think if those things changed I wouldn't be stressed.
You've give your power for peace to something outside of you.
You have the power to have peace through the Atonement.
Alma 42:8 Now behold, it was not expedient that man should be reclaimed from this temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness.
- We shouted for joy at the opportunity to come to earth
- We saw the whole plan. There was no veil.
- We saw pain & suffering. It wasn't a surprise
- We also knew the Savior would rescue us from it.
- We were so confident and sure of him we wanted to go.
- I can do it because of the Savior.
- We knew he would be right there to walk with us and rescue us.
- We knew it would be hard and we wanted it.
We either don't think about it or don't believe it.
We are so involved in the moment we don't allow the Savior in.
STRESS:
- Sometimes self-imposed
- Over scheduling
- Trying to be a controller or dictator
- Parenting styles
- Marriage-we look at our spouse and we criticize.
- We give our power out.
- Example: "I'm so annoyed/upset when he leaves his dirty socks on the family room floor."
- We get so focused on making him good so he can make us happy. As we do that we create stress in our lives.
- Things that come upon us...child born with heart defect, death, illness, job loss
- We didn't ask for them.
- It's the hard things life imposes.
We buy guilt. Change percentages. You need to cheer for yourself and validate you when you make even a small change.
Stop worrying about what you are doing wrong and focus on what will move you in the right direction.
PT-->PF-->PA-->PC
Positive Thoughts lead to Positive Feelings lead to Positive Actions and over time lead to Positive Character.
Negative Thought lead to Negative Feelings which lead to Negative Actions.
We need to change our thought pattern to change our actions. We change our thought thru prayer.
If you are in stress or adversity what are you thinking about.
Scripture reference for this formula...Mosiah 4:30 But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not.
When we are in major stress we are usually in fear. We cannot be in faith.
Faith says I know Heavenly Father will be on the right and the left, his spirit is in my heart, and his angels round about me.
We need to say, "Father show me what to do to protect my children." When he gives you an answer you do it that day. When you do those inspirations straight way, it builds the fortifications around your children.
Example: If you had a fight with your husband the night before and you pray and get the feeling you should take his favorite candy bar and deliver it to work, follow that, don't question it.
Most blue women think they are spiritually better than their husbands.
"Don’t look for a life virtually free from discomfort, pain, pressure, challenge, or grief, for those are the tools a loving Father uses to stimulate our personal growth and understanding." To Be Healed by Richard G. Scott Ensign May 1994
"I am persuaded that there can be a necessary refining process in adversity that increases our understanding, enhances our sensitivity, makes us more Christlike." The Blessings of Adversity by James E. Faust Ensign February 1998
"He is rubbing off our rough edges and sensitizing us for our great responsibilities ahead." The Blessings of Adversity by James E. Faust Ensign February 1998The Lord refines those whom he loves.
Remember that Joseph Smith was a righteous man. He had adversity & stress starting at 8 yrs old with the pain in his leg. At 14 he had the First Vision and was persecuted until his death. His life was a storm. He said, "The envy and wrath of man have been my common lot all the days of my life. . . . Deep water is what I am wont to swim in." "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" D&C 121:1 Joseph Smith grew more in Liberty Jail than any other time.
Question: What about parents who have children that go astray?
Answer: Heavenly Father had Satan, Lehi had Laman & Lemuel
The principle is : When you are in stress and/or adversity you never ask the question why.
The why is that you are in mortality. It has nothing to do with righteousness or wickedness.
Women are prone to depression this time of year. It comes from asking why? Why is self-focused. Being turned in with negative thoughts will usually create depression. We become habitual in thinking negative.
Story: For FHE Tracy and her family took a walk. She put a small rock in each one of their shoes. They were not allowed to take the rock out. Then she gave them a jolly rancher to put in their mouth. What did they talk about? They complained about the rock in their shoe instead of enjoying the jolly rancher in their mouth. She said, "You had something sweet & something hard" What did you choose to look at?
Think about Nephi & his family in the wilderness. Laman & Lemuel said,
(1 Nephi 16:35-37) 35 And it came to pass that the daughters of Ishmael did mourn exceedingly, because of the loss of their father, and because of their afflictions in the wilderness; and they did murmur against my father, because he had brought them out of the land of Jerusalem, saying: Our father is dead; yea, and we have wandered much in the wilderness, and we have suffered much affliction, hunger, thirst, and fatigue; and after all these sufferings we must perish in the wilderness with hunger.Nephi had the same experience, but looked at it differently,
(1 Nephi 17:2) And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.They had the same experience, but different viewpoints. It's how we think about it that creates feelings which lead to actions.
"Attitude is what will pull us through whatever comes our way. It will not remove our troubles from us but rather will enable us to face our challenges, to meet them head on, and to emerge victorious." Ensign, May 2009 pg 89 Thomas S. Monson
When we pray we pray to have the problem removed. If he removes it then he removes the learning experience.
Instead of asking the question why we should ask these questions instead..."Obtaining Help From The Lord" by Richard G. Scott, Ensign October 1991
1. What does the Lord want me to learn?
- In the moment if you pray about it you will get little pieces. When you act on those you get more.
- You seek, ponder scriptures and talks
- The answer is not to sit in one place and murmur
- This is taking our own power back.
5. What characteristic must I improve? (What must I stop doing and what must I start doing)
EXAMPLE: With stress in your marriage. You feel like you are unequally yoked to your husband. You want to do FHE, family prayers, keep Sabbath day holy, etc. He wants to watch football on Sunday, play video games late into night. We say, "If he would change, I would be happy." You are putting all your power in his basket. You keep your own agency.
- What does the Lord want me to learn?---Be submissive. He is the head of the home. You need to treat him like that, lift him up. Might need to learn to overcome your pride. Blame give away your agency.
- What do I need to do?---Love him, forgive him
- What do I need to change?---Change me--my pride & my critical nature
- Whom do I need to serve?---Him, care unconditionally
- What characteristic must I improve?---Looking for good, support, lift, stop being critical.
1. We cannot choose to be free from difficulties, but we are free to choose how to handle them.
- As long as you are in this world you will have stress & adversity.
Every Monday John left home at two o’clock in the morning and walked six hours in order to be at his post on time. On Friday he would leave his work at five o’clock in the evening and walk almost until midnight before arriving home. He did this year after year.
One day, while he was doing his chores at home, a cow kicked him in the leg, causing a compound fracture. With limited medical resources, the only option was to amputate the broken leg. So John’s family and friends strapped him onto a door and, with a bucksaw, cut off his leg a few inches from the knee.
In spite of the crude surgery, the leg started to heal. Once John could sit up in bed, he began carving a wooden leg with an ingenious joint that served as an ankle to an artificial foot. Walking on this device was extremely painful, but John did not give up, building up his endurance until he could make the 22-mile (35-km) journey to the Salt Lake Temple each week, where he continued his work.
2. In adversity we must stay committedHis hands carved the words “Holiness to the Lord” that stand today as a golden marker to all who visit the Salt Lake Temple. "Lift Where You Stand" by Deiter F. Uchtdorf, Ensign November 2008
"When we face seemingly insurmountable obstacles in the fulfillment of righteous responsibilities, we should remember that when we are involved in the work of the Lord, the obstacles before us are never as great as the power behind us. We should reach out and climb. Handholds will only be found by hands that are outstretched. Footholds are only for feet that are on the move.” "Reach Out and Climb!" by Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign April 20023. Have faith that the Lord is mindful of us and we can have a perfect brightness of hope.
STORY: Tracy’s husband has been out of work for 14 months. They have kids ranging from age 6 yrs to 15 yrs. In the beginning you have a lot of faith. After it goes on and the storm continues to go it gets harder. She decided she would have to choose how to look at the trial. She read “Remember Remember” and wrote all the tender mercies she could see each day. If you are not in the storm these are the things you can do. A friend took Mallory shopping and bought all her school clothes. Someone had paid for year book and choir fees. With Spencer a different family took him shopping for school clothes. He came home with name brand things. They came home one day and the front porch was full of food. She left it in the living room for awhile so she could see just how blessed they were. In order for her to receive what she could she wanted to give what she could. She would go visit someone who was sick. She would take in dinners. She took every assignment she could and served. When she wanted the Lord to bless her she served in every way she could. She had to have faith and keep focus. Never lost hope. Always lifting those around her. They kept a journal of the 'tender mercies' they received. That journal is their most prized possession.
They felt good about it. They had previously put in an application to transfer to Boston so they thought maybe that was going to go through. He has wanted to purchase a company and went online to look. There was a pump company in Middleton Idaho for sale. He decided maybe that's what he was supposed to do. So he flew home. Over the weekend he had 3 goals. 1. Sign on the company. 2. Get financing. 3. Come up with $50,000 of his own money. By Sunday night all those things had happened and he found a house to buy.
He went home and didn't tell anyone. He didn't want to until his financing went through. When there was a 90% chance it was going to go through he gave his 2 weeks notice and told their bishop. Everything fell into place. Jenny's Dad flew out to New Jersey to drive back with them. While they were in Snowville, Utah they got a phone call that Tuesday night saying that their financing had failed. Tuesday night the contract was up and someone else was in line to purchase the business. The business went to them.
So they arrived in Boise with no house, no job, no money. He said, "Mom, we followed every prompting. We're not sure why we are here, but the Lord has brought us here." Cory is excited. He feels like he can do anything right now.
Do we have enough faith to listen to Heavenly Father say, "Be still, and know that I am God"?
"One’s life, therefore, cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free....How can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, “Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!”...Real faith, however, is required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process." "Lest Ye Be Wearied and Faint In Your Minds" by Neal A. Maxwell, Ensign May 1991
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Class #10-Spring 2012---Follow up
Your goal is to train your children not control them.
Your home and FHE is where you teach your children to bear their testimonies and practice there not sacrament meeting.
One of the things with being a teacher is that you need to bear witness/testify of the principle you have taught at the end. Teach them to teach.
Your home and FHE is where you teach your children to bear their testimonies and practice there not sacrament meeting.
One of the things with being a teacher is that you need to bear witness/testify of the principle you have taught at the end. Teach them to teach.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Spring Break Ideas...
Spring Break Ideas for Kids
Things to Do With Children at Home for School Vacation
Something Fun Every Day
Plant a Garden With Your Children
Spring Day Trips
Volunteer
Get Ready for Easter
Spring Idea's, activities & food:
Getting the Most from Spring Break:
NRC Spring Break Activities:
Treasure Valley Spring Break Idea's:
Treasure Valley Family Calendar of Events
Events posted by Idaho Statesman:
Staycation Ideas:
Things to do/crafts for little ones:
Crafts for Boys:
1- Movie Marathon: This will be a list of movies they can watch, provided this is a list you’ve put together that are okay for them. Now they can make a theater in all types of ways. Hand them Easter or Halloween buckets and let them decorate them for Movie popcorn. Designate the older children to pop the popcorn and get the younger kids to make the mix. Have fun! Yes, mom there will be a mess but they should be out of your hair for at least 1-3 hours depending how long the movie is.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Class #10 (Spring 2012)--Teaching Your Children to be Valiant
Think about (ponder) how you teach.
Pondering takes time, energy, and honesty, but not guilt. It is to gain understanding and insight and inspiration. Guilt beats yourself up and stops the insight. You need to make quiet time to ponder. Use the time when you are in the car going to pick up kids from school. Turn off the music and ponder. Ponder when you are laying in bed trying to go to sleep at night. Ponder while you are vacuuming. Ponder while you are in the shower. You need to find time to ponder. If you can't find time then create it.
How do you teach your children the gospel? Some teach reactive. They let something happen and then react in the moment. Some do FHE (organized once per week) which is good, but how is the teaching the rest of the week.
You need to teach your children to fortify them without teaching curiosity.
Story: Jana played volleyball in high school. She was jut younger than Tracy. Tracy was very athletic. Jana takes after her Mom. She is good, but she isn't great. She came home from volleyball in tears one day and went straight to her room. Sister Tanner went to check on her and found out that while they were in practice she was having problems serving. Tracy was an ace server. The coach was not patient. The coach said, "Jana you really aren't doing this right." and then walked away. She knew it wasn't right. She was humiliated. He didn't stop to teach her what she was doing and teach her the correct principles to get it over the net.
Are we teaching like that coach?
How do you change from helping your children be good to helping them be valiant? How do they become stripling warriors where they stand true and are willing to give their life?
The stripling warriors mothers had a great impact on their learning process, but if you go back further their fathers had a fabulous impact on them when they were laid down their lives to keep their covenants.
What are the methods we will use to do this? Proverbs 22:6 " Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." The verb is "train".
Think of a training program. The muscles you haven't really used get really sore. They loathe the 1st two weeks of training in a new sport because they knew they would hurt. They were using muscles they haven't used before. 1. It's hard. 2. Those being trained say it hurts. What does this mean in training your children to be valiant? 1. It's going to take lots of time on your part. 2. You are going to get flack from your kids. In the end you will have a champion though.
Naomi Randall wrote "I Am A Child of God". A few years after she wrote the words "teach me all that I must know" Spencer W. Kimball suggested changing the words to "teach me all that I must do."
Are we teaching them all that they must know. It's not enough to just know. We teach them to become valiant when we teach them what to do.
We as parents don't know how to teach "to do". If we don't get the gospel into the "to do" of everyday living our children won't be fortified enough to leave home. Even the best will be wounded, but not killed if they are fortified enough. (like the stripling warriors)
In the first class "Take Time To Teach"----1. Knowledge 2. Understanding 3. Act
All education outside the home school/primary stops with the process of getting knowledge. It's all competitive.
When it comes to "sharing in class" some are struck with fear. They think...I love this class, but I don't know how to get up and tell what I've learned. The reason is the element of competition. What if I don't give the right answer/ You have been programmed to do that by teachers to learn knowledge. We are teaching our children to be non-thinkers. They want to know, "What do you want me to say so I'll be right." There's a right and a wrong and I want to tell the right. Did I pass? Did I fail? We want to be sure that our children are ready when they leave home to be disciple leaders. That they can think for themselves.
This learning model needs to be incorporated into our homes. It teaches children to be valiant. This is harder that just teaching knowledge. This is the graduate course. It sets them out in the world.
To create leaders we need to make sure that it's safe for them to think for themselves. They need to know that they have the right to think differently than their peers or the crowd.
5 Principles (from BYU-I Pathways Program)
Work is good of us. We are told to pray diligently, pray often. Don't use the Lord as the bad guy, but as the purpose for choosing what is right. Faith in Christ our Savior is power. Love for the Savior increases they will want to make good choices because of their love for Him.
1. Prepare:
1. Preparation: When her children were all at home she would have them say hello by name to all the widows in the ward. It was the little things that mean a lot. It makes them aware.
2. Teach: FHE lesson on respect for elderly. Ask them questions about what they have learned.
3. Application: Being nice was easy. Instead have them visit a nursing home every Sunday for 6 months. Have your children journal about this. To retain what they have learned they have to come back to it and reteach/repeat. Reteach within 2-3 days they will retain better.
Example: Lesson on the poor
3. Application: Take them to soup kitchen and serve. Go to the Idaho Food bank. Go to cannery. They need to do something, but then don't forget to follow up. The "doing" process changes them from being good to being valiant.
Example: Eternal families
3. Application: Have them find a name and take it to the temple to do baptisms for the dead.
Example: Work
3. Application: Plan a service project. Do something hard.
They have to come back and do sharing! They have to follow thru. Let them become the teachers. They have to not be afraid to speak what they think.
We want to raise them to have courage to stand up at all costs to testify of Christ.
There was a professor of philosophy who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God couldn’t exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. For twenty years, he had taught this class and no one had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone against him because of his reputation. At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, "If there is anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!" In twenty years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, "Because anyone who believes in God is a fool. If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove that He is God, and yet He can’t do it." And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom and it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the students thought that God couldn’t exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.
Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to enroll. He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about his professor. He was required to take the class for his major, and he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said, or what the class thought. Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith...he hoped.
Finally, the day came. The professor said, " If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom. The professor shouted, "You FOOL!!! If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!" He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor’s jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man, and then ran out of the lecture hall. The young man who had stood, proceeded to walk to the front of the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God’s love for them and of His power through Jesus.
Pondering takes time, energy, and honesty, but not guilt. It is to gain understanding and insight and inspiration. Guilt beats yourself up and stops the insight. You need to make quiet time to ponder. Use the time when you are in the car going to pick up kids from school. Turn off the music and ponder. Ponder when you are laying in bed trying to go to sleep at night. Ponder while you are vacuuming. Ponder while you are in the shower. You need to find time to ponder. If you can't find time then create it.
How do you teach your children the gospel? Some teach reactive. They let something happen and then react in the moment. Some do FHE (organized once per week) which is good, but how is the teaching the rest of the week.
You need to teach your children to fortify them without teaching curiosity.
Story: Jana played volleyball in high school. She was jut younger than Tracy. Tracy was very athletic. Jana takes after her Mom. She is good, but she isn't great. She came home from volleyball in tears one day and went straight to her room. Sister Tanner went to check on her and found out that while they were in practice she was having problems serving. Tracy was an ace server. The coach was not patient. The coach said, "Jana you really aren't doing this right." and then walked away. She knew it wasn't right. She was humiliated. He didn't stop to teach her what she was doing and teach her the correct principles to get it over the net.
Are we teaching like that coach?
How do you change from helping your children be good to helping them be valiant? How do they become stripling warriors where they stand true and are willing to give their life?
The stripling warriors mothers had a great impact on their learning process, but if you go back further their fathers had a fabulous impact on them when they were laid down their lives to keep their covenants.
What are the methods we will use to do this? Proverbs 22:6 " Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." The verb is "train".
Think of a training program. The muscles you haven't really used get really sore. They loathe the 1st two weeks of training in a new sport because they knew they would hurt. They were using muscles they haven't used before. 1. It's hard. 2. Those being trained say it hurts. What does this mean in training your children to be valiant? 1. It's going to take lots of time on your part. 2. You are going to get flack from your kids. In the end you will have a champion though.
Naomi Randall wrote "I Am A Child of God". A few years after she wrote the words "teach me all that I must know" Spencer W. Kimball suggested changing the words to "teach me all that I must do."
Are we teaching them all that they must know. It's not enough to just know. We teach them to become valiant when we teach them what to do.
"To testify is to know and to declare. The gospel challenges us to be “converted,” which requires us to do and to become." The Challenge To Become by "Dallin H Oaks, Ensign November 2000We have a testimony of saying morning prayers, but how many of us do it? We know not to yell, but how many of us do it? We know to keep the Sabbath day holy for 24 hours, but do we do it? We believe the scriptures are true, but do we read them everyday? Can you tell what happened in General Conference 6 months ago and how it changed your life? Does what we know affect the way we live our lives?
We as parents don't know how to teach "to do". If we don't get the gospel into the "to do" of everyday living our children won't be fortified enough to leave home. Even the best will be wounded, but not killed if they are fortified enough. (like the stripling warriors)
Is your life so full of good things you can't create essential experiences?
"Are there so many fascinating, exciting things to do or so many challenges pressing down upon you that it is hard to keep focused on that which is essential? When things of the world crowd in, all too often the wrong things take highest priority. Then it is easy to forget the fundamental purpose of life. Satan has a powerful tool to use against good people. It is distraction. He would have good people fill life with “good things” so there is no room for the essential ones. Have you unconsciously been caught in that trap?" "First Things First" by Richard G. Scott, Ensign May 2001
In the first class "Take Time To Teach"----1. Knowledge 2. Understanding 3. Act
All education outside the home school/primary stops with the process of getting knowledge. It's all competitive.
When it comes to "sharing in class" some are struck with fear. They think...I love this class, but I don't know how to get up and tell what I've learned. The reason is the element of competition. What if I don't give the right answer/ You have been programmed to do that by teachers to learn knowledge. We are teaching our children to be non-thinkers. They want to know, "What do you want me to say so I'll be right." There's a right and a wrong and I want to tell the right. Did I pass? Did I fail? We want to be sure that our children are ready when they leave home to be disciple leaders. That they can think for themselves.
This learning model needs to be incorporated into our homes. It teaches children to be valiant. This is harder that just teaching knowledge. This is the graduate course. It sets them out in the world.
To create leaders we need to make sure that it's safe for them to think for themselves. They need to know that they have the right to think differently than their peers or the crowd.
5 Principles (from BYU-I Pathways Program)
- Exercise faith in Christ as a principle of action and power.
- To understand that true teaching is done by and with the Holy Ghost.
- Lay hold on the word of God as found in the scriptures and words of the prophets.
- Act for themselves and accept responsibility for learning and teaching.
- Love and serve and teach one another thru the 3 step process of...prepare, teach, prove & ponder.
Work is good of us. We are told to pray diligently, pray often. Don't use the Lord as the bad guy, but as the purpose for choosing what is right. Faith in Christ our Savior is power. Love for the Savior increases they will want to make good choices because of their love for Him.
1. Prepare:
- In home with older children give them a copy of the Ensign and then say next week Johnny will pick and talk and give the FHE on it. He will let us know ahead of time so we can read it and be prepared to discuss it.
- Following a FHE theme throughout the month. They come already thinking about it.
- Sunday School class---Do you come having already read the assignment so you are prepared to discuss it? Are you mentally there?
- Sister Tanner gives us assignments in class so we are prepared to be open and able to listen.
- If you are doing FHE by the seat of your pants that is better than nothing...they can come knowing that you are teaching and that you are having FHE every Monday night.
- Elder Henry B. Eyring told of a time when he attended church with his father and listened to what for young Henry had been a "dull talk." As they walked home, he was trying to think of a way to ask his father why he had been "beaming" during the boring meeting.
"I finally got up enough courage to ask him what he thought of the meeting. He said it was wonderful... Like all good fathers, he must have read my mind, because I started to laugh. He said: 'Hal, let me tell you something. Since I was a very young man, I have taught myself to do something in a church meeting. When the speaker begins, I listen carefully and ask myself what it is he is trying to say. Then, once I think I know what he is trying to accomplish, I give myself a sermon on that subject.' He let that sink in for a moment as we walked along. Then with that special self-depreciating chuckle of his, he said, 'Hal, since then I have never been to a bad meeting'" (To Draw Closer to God [Desert Book: Salt Lake City, 1997], 23) - You come with that responsibility to learn. The best way to learn is when we teach each other.
- If you teach a story then 'you' know it. If they teach the story the Spirit can bear witness that what they are teaching is true.
- Teaching isn't just giving a lesson.
- We we testify to others it validates us to ourselves.
- Let your children talk about what they have learned at school or church at the dinner time.
- They need to teach one another.
- You want them to try it and see if it works.
- Think about what they have done.
- Heed the promptings you are given.
- "O Remember Remember" by Henry B Eyring, Ensign October 2007---Keep a journal of the tender mercies you have seen, it's a learning journal, record your inspiration or thoughts.
1. Preparation: When her children were all at home she would have them say hello by name to all the widows in the ward. It was the little things that mean a lot. It makes them aware.
2. Teach: FHE lesson on respect for elderly. Ask them questions about what they have learned.
3. Application: Being nice was easy. Instead have them visit a nursing home every Sunday for 6 months. Have your children journal about this. To retain what they have learned they have to come back to it and reteach/repeat. Reteach within 2-3 days they will retain better.
Example: Lesson on the poor
3. Application: Take them to soup kitchen and serve. Go to the Idaho Food bank. Go to cannery. They need to do something, but then don't forget to follow up. The "doing" process changes them from being good to being valiant.
Example: Eternal families
3. Application: Have them find a name and take it to the temple to do baptisms for the dead.
Example: Work
3. Application: Plan a service project. Do something hard.
They have to come back and do sharing! They have to follow thru. Let them become the teachers. They have to not be afraid to speak what they think.
We want to raise them to have courage to stand up at all costs to testify of Christ.
Story: Professor & Chalk
There was a professor of philosophy who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God couldn’t exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. For twenty years, he had taught this class and no one had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone against him because of his reputation. At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, "If there is anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!" In twenty years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, "Because anyone who believes in God is a fool. If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove that He is God, and yet He can’t do it." And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom and it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the students thought that God couldn’t exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.
Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to enroll. He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about his professor. He was required to take the class for his major, and he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said, or what the class thought. Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith...he hoped.
Finally, the day came. The professor said, " If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom. The professor shouted, "You FOOL!!! If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!" He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor’s jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man, and then ran out of the lecture hall. The young man who had stood, proceeded to walk to the front of the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God’s love for them and of His power through Jesus.
Follow up thoughts from this semester....
What would I do if my Heavenly Father treated me like I treat my kids?
"Rewind"...to fix a problem...like dropping their backpack in the middle of the floor. They rewind and try it again the right way.
Marshmallow test (delaying gratification)
What started as a simple experiment with children and marshmallows became a landmark study suggesting that the ability to wait—to be patient—was a key character trait that might predict later success in life. "Continue in Patience" by Deiter F. Uchtdorf, Ensign May 2010
"Where thoughts go energy flows."---If your thoughts are focused on the negative things you will feel drained. If you think up and out your energy will increase. Think about this during the summer with your kids out of school. Think positive creative things to do with them this summer.
"Rewind"...to fix a problem...like dropping their backpack in the middle of the floor. They rewind and try it again the right way.
Marshmallow test (delaying gratification)
In the 1960s, a professor at Stanford University began a modest experiment testing the willpower of four-year-old children. He placed before them a large marshmallow and then told them they could eat it right away or, if they waited for 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows.
He then left the children alone and watched what happened behind a two-way mirror. Some of the children ate the marshmallow immediately; some could wait only a few minutes before giving in to temptation. Only 30 percent were able to wait.
It was a mildly interesting experiment, and the professor moved on to other areas of research, for, in his own words, “there are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.” But as time went on, he kept track of the children and began to notice an interesting correlation: the children who could not wait struggled later in life and had more behavioral problems, while those who waited tended to be more positive and better motivated, have higher grades and incomes, and have healthier relationships.
"Where thoughts go energy flows."---If your thoughts are focused on the negative things you will feel drained. If you think up and out your energy will increase. Think about this during the summer with your kids out of school. Think positive creative things to do with them this summer.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
ADDITIONAL PARENTING CLASS---March 22, 2012
Just a quick reminder....Sister Tanner has graciously agreed to do one additional Parenting Class this semester. It will on March 22, 2012 from 9:30-11:30am. Nursery will be available. The topic is...."Stress and Adversity". Hope to see you all there!
The next Parenting class will start in September.
The next Parenting class will start in September.
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