Humor for Moms----THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; maintain his career, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget enough money for groceries ea ch week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time — no emailing — get birthday presents for children’s birthday parties (nicely wrapped, of course!)
Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished or at least clean,and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, doctor’s name, the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child’s favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear, and what they want to be when they grow up. Additional points for knowing their children’s best friends AND those children’s extracurricular schedules for setting up play dates.
The kids will vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if … he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!
- This is a visual of what our days are like
- Life is a challenge
- We lose track of the wonderful because it's so chaotic
In the past 4 General Conferences the "umbrella" message has been 2 different things....
- Things are going to be hard. Trials, tribulations, difficulties, natural disasters, economic struggles
- In the hard, we live by the Spirit.
- Some of us find personal discouragement in the lack of ease.
- We have unreadl expectations
- We think about what would make it easier for us....more money, larger home, etc.
- We think we are too busy and wish we had less to do, however if you had less to do you would be bored.
- The grass is greener on the other side for everything.
- Life is too busy/hectic/crazy
During the creation he labored for 6 days, then on the 7th day he rested from the labors creation, but didn't rest from the spiritual creation. It wasn't a rest from doing stuff it was just doing different stuff.
The Lord labored to create the earth and the garden of Eden. Adam & Eve labored to dress and keep the garden. Adam & Eve fell. They had to "earn their keep by the sweat of their brow". The earth was cursed for their sake. The curse is to make them better and perfect them while in the mortal sphere so they could come back to their heavenly father. Without the opportunity to work we can't go home.
We were working in the premortal life. There is work for you to do here after as well.
Nehemiah 4:6 "...for the people had a mind to work."
The key is not a job lit, but to teach our families and ourselves to "have a mind to work". The scripture didn't say they were "strong enough to work" it said they had a "mind to work".
What does "a mind to work" look like?
- Enjoyment
- Setting goals and reaching them
- Self motivated
- Being able to see what needs to be done.
- Looking forward to it.
- Not constantly taking your own temperature (poor me, why do I have to do so much and hey don't)
- Always on your mind (this is spiritual creation before physical creation)-pre-planning
- Excited because you know the end result
- Value quality of work.
- Murmuring
- Day by day---no future planning
- No goals or end vision
- Slow/drudgery
- Self esteem is lacking
- No sense of accomplishment
- Half-hearted job
- Doing as little as you can.
- Keeping score-someone else has to do just as much as you
You need to make a balance of work and play. You need to work past comfort and then your "play" activities should have the same energy and life that the work does.
On a scale of 1-5 (0=no mind to work and 5=mind to work) where does each person in your family fit?
Last year these were some of the responses---younger children scored poor, older children scored poor, children's score matches Mom's, spouses score is different at work or at home, rate compared to their friends.
We are raising our children with an entitlement issue. It started with us as children, but our children are completely immersed in it.
When 10 year old Truman was asked what he wanted for his birthday he responded with "let me watch TV first and then I'll tell you."
Our kids watch 1000's of commercials everyday.
Cell phones invited into our homes entitlement. Our reasons are good, we want to buy peace
We think that because there is nothing immoral about a specific electronic toy there is nothing wrong with buying it.
Children who think they are entitled don't like to work, sassy, & lazy.
- In "Grandma's day" - mentality was that we all work to survive. Life isn't full of extras.
- In "Mom's day (us)" - mentality is that we grew up in an environment of things. Not that we had things, but we wanted things when you were growing up. Because there was more stuff available we decided we needed it and wanted it.
- "Now" (our kids) we buy it for our kids because we can and we never got it. We evaluate it against a moral standard. We want bigger an better. When the entitlement escalates the mind to work decreases.
Think about this in relationship not just to the Lamanites & Nephites, but to you and your children.
Idolatrous means that they worship idols---like music, computer games--anything self pleasing.
Their idol is their own person pleasure.
Children & sports: Good for kids until the whole world and their family revolve around their sports.
We worship TV, sports, cell phones.
They (our children) were desirous bring us (Mom & Dad) into bondage. Mom & Dad you allow yourselves to be brought into it. "They feast themselves upon our fields". Our children think it's their due. They don't care about our finances as long as they get what they want. They feel like they always need more. It is always self-focused. Ask yourself, "Where is the focus?"
Children will only be required to work at home. Even schools with the "No child left behind" policy don't help our with teaching them to work.
BILL GATES' SPEECH TO MT. WHITNEY HIGH SCHOOL in Visalia, California. Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!
To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
We need to get rid of the entitlement feeling.
3 books that are out of print, but excellent reading (dealing with entitlement)
- "The Magnificent Obsession" by Lloyd C Douglas published in 1923
- "Dr. Hudson's Secret Journal" by Lloyd C Douglas (read with one in connection with The Magnificent Obsession instead of watching the movie)
- "Gifted Hands" (Read the book then watch the movie)-Autobiography of Ben Carson--Focus on what the mother did.
- Reward system = your applause and praise (meaning encouragement)
- Learn to create a mind to work
- Instead of saying "good job" say, "I love the way you put all the knives in the drawer"
- They want to work, but are not very capable.
- They find it exciting.
- Your role is training right now, not an immaculate home.
- Stickers
- Job charts
- Marbles in jar
- Visual rewards
- Very little attention spans.
- Make 3-4 charts and rotate them out monthly
- Good idea source is school supply stores "Idaho School Supply" on Chinden in Boise
- Put on music with a good beat
- Make it fun time.
- Do it with them.
- Saying "pick up the toys" is too complex. Break it down...."Go pick up your blocks" then when finished try singing a song, then "Go pick up your books."
- Harder tasks
- You must teach them how to do it first.
- What exactly does a "clean fridge" look like? Just washing off the front of it, cleaning up the spilled milk, or removing everything wiping it down, removing drawers and scrubbing. They need to know what a "good" job looks like.
- We need to hold them to it with exactness
- Example: Signs that say "Quick Clean of Bedroom"(Every day) on one side....list items. Then on other side "Deep Clean of Bedroom"(Saturday) on other side....list items. Then check off the job by against the piece of paper. The paper is the bad guy. You can have a FHE and have them help you make a list of what should be included in each one.
- Work with them.
- Whole family needs to work together
- You won't have success if you just legislate "a mind to work"
- You have to have a mind to work so you can create the work for the kids.
- Jake has to clean the chicken coop and collect he eggs. He sells the eggs and saves the money for his mission.
- Learn to do hard things way past comfort.
- Actively involved in cleaning out garden, cleaning vehicles, cleaning garage, cleaning closets
- Work to completion
- You can do job charts with points. The hardest thing for them to do is worth more points. They can use the points to earn computer time, money, etc.
- Teach them to pay their tithing AND fast offerings. Paying tithing is only 1/2 the law. We are commanded to pay "tithes & offerings".
- Get Dad to work with the kids it will stick better. If you can't get him to work with them then you do it.
“What Can They Do” from the University of Arizona
2 yrs old
- Pick up toys
- Sweep floor
- Napkins on the table
- Spilled food cleaned up
- Dress self
- Brush hair
- Carry in groceries
- Make simple decisions
4 yrs old
- Set table
- Put groceries away
- Compile grocery list
- Get mail
- Fold washcloths
- Yard work
- Do dishes
- Make sandwiches
- Make cold cereal breakfast
- Goal charts
5 yrs old
- Pour milk
- Make salad
- Scrub skin, toilet, bathtub
- Clean our car
- Wipe of baseboards with toothbrush
- Sort clothes
- Empty garbage
- Polish floors
Ideas for Older Kids:
- Yard work, mow lawn
- Wash the car, vacuum
- Clean out closets
- Wash dishes
- Clean kitchen
- Do own laundry—wash, fold, put away
- Get job
- Service opportunities
- Keep bathroom clean
- Meal planning & prep as well as clean up
- Clean out the garage
- Gardening: tilling, harvesting, canning
HOMEWORK:
- This week while reading your scriptures or conference talks pay attention to the adverbs. "pray diligently", "pray day & night". Look at the effort that is required in receiving spiritual strength.
- This one is life changing if you will choose to do it. Family Service Project: between now and Christmas. Requires 3 things: 1. Has to require sacrifice (give up something that this not easy to give up....money and/or time). 2. Work past comfort. 3. Has to be done as a family.
- If you choose do another families Christmas the children need to earn the money to purchase the gifts for the other family.
- All November & December adopt a Grandma in a nursing home, take Christmas in to her, visit her weekly, find out about her, what is her story, what has she experienced.
- Re-do your basement--paint etc. Doing something in your own home is ok, but try to find something you could do for someone else out of the family.
- Humanitarian Center projects
You can't get to the Celestial Kingdom on the easy path. We must work!
2 comments:
We have done several "work charts" and reward systems for our children. They only last a short time, but they work while we are doing them. Then we have to switch it out for something else.
I used to just write a list of jobs and put them on the counter and the kids had to do so many of the jobs. I have a couple of "red" children that need to be in charge and make their own choices or it is a real fight to get them to do anything. This worked for awhile, but they wanted a certain "#" of jobs that they were required to do. I had my pre-teen boys (twins) choosing to do little jobs like getting the mail, filling the bird feeder, dusting, recycle etc and that would leave my 1st grade daughter with loading the dishwasher, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming floors, etc. If they had to choose 3 jobs each and those were the jobs they chose it seemed very unequal and weighted to heavily one direction.
To compensate for this, I printed up a job list that listed all kinds of jobs and a point value as well as specific days they could be done (certain things only needed to be done 1-2x each week not every day). I assigned higher point values to jobs that the kids didn't like to do (load dishwasher, clean bathrooms)and that took longer to do and lower point values to more simple jobs (get the mail, recycle, water the plants, etc). This list of jobs was only for the house. It didn't include make their bed, do their homework, brush their teeth, or anything that was a "personal" job. Those were still required, but not on this job list. Each child was given a certain number of points that they were required to do each day before they could play the computer or play with friends. I chose their age as their number. that way as they got older they got more work to do because they had to fill more job points.
As an example...my 6 year old(at that time) daughter had 6 job points to do each day. So she could choose to Dust=1, Unload the dishwasher=2, Get the mail=1, Set the table=1, and Wash off the counter=1...total 6 points. OR she could choose to Load the dishwasher=5 and wash off the counter=1.
My 11 year old (at that time) twin boys could choose to Dust=1, Unload the dishwasher=2, Get the mail=1, Set the table=1, Wash off the counter=1, Water the plants=1, Empty the garbage=1, Recycle=1, Start a load of laundry=1, Wash sliding glass door inside & out=1. OR they could Fold & put away 1 load of laundry=5, Wash extra dishes=5, and Fill the bird feeder=1 and be finished for the day.
The thing I found very helpful was if they chose to do the 1 point jobs then they had to do a lot of them. They were the simple things that needed to be done, but there were a lot of them. Or they could choose to do the bigger jobs or the ones that I took more time and effort and only have to do 1 or 2 of them. I figured that if they did all the little jobs then I would have time to get the bigger jobs myself and if they did all the bigger jobs I would have the time to do all those little things myself. Either way it worked well.
I put the printed list in a sheet protector and kept a dry erase marker nearby. When the job was finished for the day the kids crossed it off and put their initial beside it. They could only cross off the job as it was finished. They could only pick 1 job at a time so if there were specific ones they wanted to do they had to hurry and do them before someone else got to them.
I would LOVE some copies of ideas of chore charts, sounds like great great ideas!!!! with 5 kids it would be nice to have more "to do's" assignments! Also a copy of the " Pride" to fit it in our scriptures I could not find a small enough copy online and also the little guy that we use for the holidays that moves whats his name again? Can't wait to go tomorrow night!!!!
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