Introduction in Parenting Class (Fall 2012)

• As you become different your children react different.
• The change is usually because of something you do.
• The even years are rough when children are young (ages 2-4-6-8-10) and the odd years are rough when children are older (ages 11-13-15-17)
• If you stand firm it gives your children a sense of security.
• How often does Heavenly Father change?  If you complain about paying 10% tithing he won't change it to 9% for you just because 10% is too hard.
• Use order to put "play time" in your routine.
• Class member stated, "I want to parent different than I was parented."
• What your children are growing up in and what you grew up in are completely different.  You cannot parent the way you were parented and expect the same results.  You have to change to accommodate what is going on in the world.  
• Sister Tanner is going to teach "principles".  They are always right.  They never change.  She will offer suggestions of "practices".  That is 'how' you do something.  Those can change based on your children's ages or environment or any reason.
• Our parenting is like a pendulum....sometimes when you don't know what else to do you withdraw and do nothing.  Then your children do nothing.  Then you change and become military "You will do what I say when I say it."  They say, "I hate you!"  You give in again to buy their love.  They become rotten and spoiled.
• Sister Tanner's goal #1:  To teach you to live by the Spirit.  You don't need her to teach you.  You just need the Holy Ghost to teach your family.
• Sister Tanner's goal #2:  To teach you to love being a parent.  Enjoy every moment now so that you have no regrets.
• Sister Tanner has been teaching this class for 22 years.  She was raised in a military home.  She has a blue personality.  Blues desire to do what is right.  She was the ideal child.  She carried a lot of baggage.  She was obedient, but missed out on loving and independent thinking.  Forgive your parents.  Your children will need to forgive your parenting one day as well.  She decided she couldn't parent like she was and she had to learn different tools.  Her #1 textbook is the current Ensign.  The Lord blessed her with and understanding and she began to teach the things she was learning.
• The Lord will use her to teach us the things we need. 

Homework #1:  Create a Ponder Pad.  Write down anything that comes to your mind.  You may not ponder it yet.  Make a note and set a day to go back to it.  Those are ideas given to you individually.  Some things you will just cross off.  Others will stand out.  Do them immediately.  Then you will receive more personal revelation.

• We pray with real intent.  We say, "Bless Johnny to be more receptive.  Soften his heart."  When we are praying we are praying with real intent.  Then we get up and do the same thing we have done every day and expect things to be different.  We are praying the Lord a "to-do" list.  We want him to do it for us.  We need to pray for the Lord to show us what to do to change myself and to help them feel more loved.

Sister Tanner's promise:  If you will do the homework and keep a ponder pad you will be a different person in 10 weeks if you choose to do the work.

Sister Tanner had 10 children in 12 years...no double births.  In the beginning she dealt with infertility.  Her first baby died of crib death.  She knows those burdens.  She has a husband that was inactive and active in the church.  She has 33 grandchildren. 

One memory that stands out is sitting behind 6 of her kids on a Saturday night.  The kids were in their pajamas sitting there in a semicircle watching TV.  The Spirit put his arms around her and told her, "In all eternity you will never have this experience again."  In that moment she realized that those spirits won't crawl on her lap again or come to her hurting or as their care taker.  She needed to teach them to go to Heavenly Father.

Treasure the moment.  Treasure the here and now.  Find joy in it!